Haunted Longings

the journey toward a shepherded sexuality

Is sex really a sacred place?

In all our questions of sexuality, we are laid bare and exposed to our rawest desires and fears. Could these longings run deeper, to our human need for divine connection? Our longing for transcendence speaks to our imago dei design.

A wise counselor once told me,

“Many of our questions about sex reflect deeper questions relating to God.”

In an oversexed world starving for intimacy, this concept seems alluring but out of touch. And for the modern Western church––hyper focused on and yet afraid of sex––this concept can seem suspicious.

The Kiss | Gustav Klimt

But when Paul writes his fierce crescendo in Ephesians 5, his declaration is that marriage (and its intimate oneness) points to the ecstasy of union between Christ and His church. Throughout Scripture, the biblical authors were unafraid to describe intimate connection as not the robotic movement of body parts, but a glimpse into the divine dance of the Trinity.

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This can feel like a stretch––caught between a pornographic culture and a purity culture––battling a dual obsession with sex and strange aversion to it. We long for sacred hiddenness on one hand, and we desperately need redemptive transparency on the other.

No wonder Christians are left reeling, confused, and yet curious about their sexual longings, desires, and fears.

God created us as sexual beings––this reflects the intentional goodness of His design. But we know, from painful experience and the brokenness of our own hearts, this image-bearing sexuality is marred by the fall.

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So what does it mean to “look to Jesus” (Heb. 12:2) as we sift through the pieces of a broken, imperfect sexuality?

On a path where darkness and light meet, how does a faithful Savior hold your hand as you seek to walk with clarity, tenderness, and truth?

Even here, in a forest shadowed by shame, longing, and despair, your Shepherd walks faithfully beside you. He will not leave you behind.