True Belonging | Chasing the Light

glimpses of beauty at the dawn of 2021

Hello friends,

“We will bloom again.” An appropriate goal for 2021, right? The beginning of this year has felt like a time-warp in many ways––with continuing cycles of quieter rhythms and for some of us, heavier burdens.

As I work on upcoming articles, I wanted to share glimpses of beauty that have made 2021 a little brighter so far. This newsletter is an interactive one, so please engage! Ask a question or share what glimpses of light have given you hope recently, by clicking on the title of this newsletter and adding a comment.

Reading

On the Road with St. Augustine is a must-read, especially for 20-somethings. I picked it up on Christmas and immediately felt like James K.A. Smith was shining a laser beam into my soul. He deftly interweaves philosophy, theology, references to the arts, and details from Augustine’s life and writing to kindly engage with those of us still trying to find our way in the world.

“How to die is a question of how to live, but how to live is a matter of knowing how to love: how to find a love that isn't haunted by fear, a love that is stronger than death—figuring out how to love rightly and live lightly with all the mortal beauties of creation without despising or resenting their mortality either...

The hope of eternal life does not efface the desire to live - it is the fulfillment of the desire to live, to live in a way that we can never lose what we love.”

Watching

Filmed in South Korea, It’s Okay to Not Be Okay is about a mental health caregiver who lives with his autistic brother. Into his world crashes an aloof, mysterious writer of children’s literature. A full cast of complex characters carry the weight of various traumas and face the question of whether healing is possible.

This Netflix show is a work of understated beauty. It doesn’t flaunt its lush cinematography, excellent writing, or intensely relatable characters. Romance, comedy, tragedy, and crime are all genres that collide in each stunning episode. The result is breathtaking and human.

Listening

I’ve been mesmerized by the introspective indie rock of Valleyheart. Their song Crave is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard about the human condition.

“all this time spent chasing shadows of some greater thrill

Could I find contentment in just being still?

Remember when we were good, to sit in my car and speak through the silence…

How we’re just getting by, chasing the fleeting spark of a comfort,

I wonder if we could find some peace these days when all we do is crave.”

If you’re familiar with the song “Jesus Loves Me,” Valleyheart’s Paradisum is a unique arrangement, a raw vocal take recorded at a snowy field in the dead of winter. “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so/Broken ones to him belong, they are weak but he is strong.”

Writing

Last year creatively suffocated me. I felt words stirring deeply in me all year, but to publish something on my website felt ill-timed at best, and self-indulgent at worst. For me to throw my hat in the ring of everyone sharing their thoughts on 2020!! felt pointless and just adding to a cacophony of competing voices.

All that said, I’m working on a piece about imposter syndrome and finding our way home. What even is home? you might be wondering, and to that I say, Uh, still figuring that one out. In the meantime, you can read some of my previous posts on my website here and here.

Pondering

My “word of the year” for 2020, in hindsight, was tenderness. In May, I had the great privilege of marrying an incredible man, whose tender care has shown me depths of love that immensely humble me. But learning to be tender also means greater vulnerability––the willingness to love deeply and to risk being hurt in equal measure. Pain is the by-product of love. Amid present comforts and joys, we’ve all had our fair share of complexity and suffering this last year.

My word for 2021, at least to start out, is belonging. Living in a new place has taught me that home is more abstract of a concept than I often realize. And when we find ourselves restless and longing, our hearts yearn for something that will anchor us with loving assurance.

Andrew Peterson writes in his book on creativity, Adorning the Dark, that our truest identity can be summarized in one word: beloved. If we have a Father we can run to, a future hope in ever-swirling change, I believe true belonging really is within our reach.

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Thank you for being here! What have you been reading, watching, listening, writing, pondering?

Onward and Upward,

–Carissa Early